Hokanu said:We will just have to pick and choose what topics we want to discuss and not discuss and if someone decides there is not enough information or meat to make a plausable discussion in their mind, and feels like a particular comment will lead to a flame war they probably should just refrain from entering the conversation with that comment in mind, but should always enter a conversation if they feel like their comment can truly add to the discussion.
Love this! Well said, Hokanu.
I find debates are good if they lead to progression and learning to see another perspective. This doesn't mean we can't keep our own views - other perspectives won't diminish their value. Difficulties may arise, when sometimes, albeit thankfully quite rarely, flame wars are something more sinister, meaning mind games and gas lighting. In those times it’s about attempting to gain control over someone else by trying to change the truth about what actually took place, engaging in guilt tripping and false blame, using the person’s words as weapons against them to tear them down and generally derogatory statements. It’s really good to know how that works, so that one can recognise it, protect oneself and regain balance if one were to encounter such things. These things can happen anywhere in life.
I find there’s a great personal power in knowing that my ability to respond (or responsibility) is in my hands. It’s not always easy to forgo what I’m feeling, and I’m not always as successful as I’d like to be, but I do try to be a builder instead of a destroyer. In the end, it’s far more fulfilling.
I don’t think I have experienced the nasty side of people on the forums here. That is good thing to me. I am relatively new here and I do not think we have a toxic environment here. Kilsin is doing a great job at making sure things don’t get ugly. I have been reading and posting a lot.
Kilsin stated:
Civil - Meaning
Courteous and polite.
"They were comparatively civil to their daughter"
It is all about having some respect for each other as you are all here for the same reason, you all share something in common and all want to enjoy the same thing together once the game launches, there is no need to be rude or speak down to someone over an opinion, it is all about forum etiquette and manners, all of these social tools help humans survive and interact with each other.
There are many ways to say something but choosing the most hostile or toxic way says a lot about someones personality, if everyone stopped and took a minute to think before replying to someone else's post I can assure you that there would be much less drama and arguments which it isn't even bad at the moment, it is like 1-2 provokers that flame others and a few passionate members who cannot control themselves jump in and take the bait but it is far from toxic.
Just take a deep breath before posting and pretend someone you love is watching you type over your shoulder, see if it changes the way to reply to others or whether it is worth it at all ;)
This pretty much sums it up nicely. I ask a ton of questions and like to see discussions even if its about the UI color. This is what forums are for. Always be courteous and polite.
Ox