Let me start off by stating that I was conflicted as to whether or not I should make this post at all, because it is a sensitive subject and I don't wanna bring unnecessary discomfort to anyone or rip up any old wounds. But I felt compelled to post it even though part of me feels I should just leave it alone.
This last fortnight or so, I have been trawling through a lot of content about Pantheon, as my interest in the world of Terminus has been rekindled as of late. Some of that trawling has of course taking place on Bazgrim's youtube channel. Today I came across this video https://youtu.be/jI83NtLVEXU which is the community rememberance video that was made in honour of Brad McQuaid. I hadn't seen the video before but decided to do so today, because even though I never met the man or communicated directly with him in anyway, he had a huge impact on my life through the world of Everquest which reverberates in me to this day, and I felt a strange sense of loss when I heard of his passing in 2019. And it is obvious, that a lot of other people feel as I do. And as I was watching the video I could of course feel it tugging on my heartstrings, as I expected.
And I guess that is the reason why I decided to go ahead with this post. To share with you why I decided to upgrade my pledge after watching the video, hence the title of the post, and why I will most likely do so again. Because I hope to see this visionary person's final project come to fruition, so that I will be able to go into a deep, complex, challenging and community building world, with friends I still have from when I first started playing Everquest. And in some small way I hope this might give food for thought, to others who might be on the fence whether or not to pledge or upgrade. His vision deserves all the help it can get.
I think that is worth sharing.
Don't feel bad for sharing. Having been through several bereavements recently (as you get older, it's inevitable) I believe it's never bad to talk about it, even if it's a bit painful, it's healthy to do.
EDIT: I am generally a very logical and stoic guy, but this has gotten me quite emotional and wistful *chuckle* Re-reading my post, I was almost tempted, similarly to Daalziel, to abandon it. I didn't want to sound overly self-indulgent and sentimental, but then I thought "to hell with it!" hehe. So back to it...
We often hear on the news that such-and-such has died and, to be honest, it rarely has an effect on me. Some notable exceptions more recently were Freddie Mercury and David Bowie, where I was genuinely 'a bit sad', and there have been others, but on the whole, it's rare to actually *feel* it to any depth, if you weren't personally close.
When I heard Brad had died, it was a poke in the guts, though. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't in tears or short of breath, but it effected me more than I thought it might and the reason, of course is that his work, Everquest, had really spoken to me and been a big part of my life, much like that of Freddie Mercury and David Bowie. Pretty much solely because of Brad, I was already a supporter of Pantheon and, so, his work continued to be important to me. To hear he was gone and so unexpectedly left a feeling of real loss and sadness.
I, of course, cannot compare that loss to that of his family and friends, but I certainly don't feel like a 'stranger' when it comes to Brad. Perhaps it was his affable, approachable nature and his willingness and eagerness to involve others in his vision that made even people like me, that never met him, feel like we were part of his community and even his peer group. It was always a joy to hear from Brad, especially about Pantheon - his words always pulled you in and along with him and made you feel part of his 'team'. It's a real shame we won't get that any more. And there's that sense of loss *sigh* I really wish I'd had the chance to talk to him face-to-face.
As I say, I've been through some bereavements and one thing that helps is to feel you keep their memory alive. Keep doing the things they liked and you can almost hear them commenting happily like they are just in the next room.
Feeling that I am involved in seeing an important part of Brad's legacy to fruition is good. I'm sure the other pledgers and the VR team feel the same. It's an honour and a comfort.
So, yeah, if your reason for pledging (or increasing your pledge) is to honour Brad's memory and be part of his vision, that's a very good reason indeed.
